Visiting the Philippines in December I wrote the following:
I’m back in Asia… I love this part of the world so much but at the same time I hate it and I don’t understand it. The people always smile at you ….but you never know what they think. The food is delicious… but the environment where it is prepared often so dirty. Where nature is overwhelmingly beautiful…but where I don’t no where I’m going anymore… Where I’m feeling lost in this Beautiful world…
I have this moment right now. Traveling in The Philippines. It is beautiful, nature is great! The landscape surprises me in every possible way. Last week I spend some time in El Nido enjoying the most beautiful beaches and bright bleu sea and what about those magnificent limestone rocks… Now I’m at Luzon and am circled by rough mountains which I love!!
Still…I’m in this beautiful place and I don’t know what I really want. I’m feeling lost in this beautiful world. I want to have a goal, I want to work up to something. I don’t want to travel and see what happens on my way … I’m doing that already for some years.
I feel like: Been there… Done that ..
And believe me: I loved it all the way!
But I want it different, I want to challenge myself and set some goals.
I want to accept a challenge as I did in 2016 with that great Camino that I hiked.
I decided to walk a pilgrimage early 2016, the Camino Frances. It is an old pilgrimage from Saint Jean Pied de Port all the way to Santiago de Compostela, a totall of 780K. Right after my decision I started to work out and I walked a lot in The Netherlands. Soon I started to walk 10 to 15K easily. After 9 months of training / walking the day had come to start my Camino, exactly 8 years after quitting smoking!! It was just by accident that I started that day. I actually wanted to stay for a day in SJPdP but I just started walking that morning with a French couple that helped me out a lot that first day!!
I walked for 35 days … all the way to Santiago. The least I walked on a day was 14.5K and the most was 43K. Things were going great, I felt like I was on top of this beautiful world. I had a goal and was working towards it. I met so many great people and with some I walked for days or even up to a week.
It really is one of the best experiences in my life!!
Feeling Lost in this Beautiful World
A couple of months later I took a different challenge by surprise, it was on my mind for some years already. I went to a Vipassana Meditation Centre (Dutch link) in Chennai. I was there for 10 days, I didn’t talk, I didn’t have any eye contact with anyone and was working hard on my meditation. Making sure to concentrate and being here and now. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done and at mulitple moments in that 10 days I thought I wouldn’t make it.
And to be honoust… I sat in that room while tears were running down my cheeks.. It was hard… But I stayed there… I just sat there and got through the toughest part. Eventually I had the feeling of progress in my meditation and my concentration got better. At several moments I really felt that I was working the right way. I felt the sensations and could realy concentrate on that. Memories came also… I recognized them without feeling the anger, fear or sadness.
Feeling Lost in this Beautiful World…
I felt great when I got out. I was so relaxed,I felt good and open. I felt somewhat reborn, with new energy to go back into everyday life. The hectic life of India… I stepped into a cab and after a long drive which shouldn’t have taken that long and I almost got in a fight with the driver… I stepped out of the situation and let the doorman of the hotel do the negotiation for me. I did pay something to meet costs but after that I was sitting and enjoying the delicious food of India. I realised at that moment that I had passed the incident and remembered that I had done that differently in the past. Being irritated for at least on hour afterwards….
At that moment I realised that I had learned a bit of Goenka: Be Happy! Life now and feel what happens at this moment. That was exactly what I was doing the 10 days prior to this incident and I had learned good!! I was enjoying my food 🙂
– May All Beings Be Happy –
S.N. Goenka – Vipassana Meditation
And now I am experiencing the same…
Back in Asia and nothing is as I remembered it. I visited different spots and places but I am comparing. I know that it is impossible but still doing it. I looked around me and realise that I am at beautiful spot again!! I do feel privileged being here and being able to travel around. I do feel sincere happiness!
But I am missing something. I miss that challenge. I miss working towards a goal. Exactly that what I didn’t want when I started to travel around the world solo. Not having a goal, just being in a country and having the time to go around, to sit and see local life pass by. I now want to work towards something …having a goal!!
I don’t want to be feeling lost in this beautiful world anymore
And so in the end of 2017 I set a goal… a new goal for 2018!!
Back at home again…. and just at that time something crosses my path #Destiny I get closer to my goal because of that. I got this christmas present from work as a police officer and I could choose to get a thin sleeping pad. I have used the same kind this summer in Sweden and it was good!! So I have the first item to get me closer to my goal. My new goal!! I want to go camping more! I want to go walking or cycling and sleep outdoor!! I do like the thought of my goal, of my challenge and love how I can work towards that!
I am happy and feeling new energy all over! I’ve got so many new destinations to go to by foot or bicycle!! There are so many new options!!
Do you have some tips for me?
Where should I go walk or cycle and camping?
Feeling Lost in this Beautiful World… Or not?
How do I like it to have a goal!!
Working towards it!!
Do you have a goal too? And do you set a goal for a year or a shorter period?
I’m really curious about what inspires you to set goals and steps in your life!
Have you ever experienced that feeling of being lost in a beautiful spot in the great world?